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I miss being in high school where I could wear my boyfriends sweatshirt and mr. Larbes would never hesitate in telling me to “remove that assholes name from not only my body but from my life.”

Things we’ll never forget about Brie.

She was afraid of grass
She only drank water from the faucet in the bathtub
Her feet smelled like popcorn
She’d only eat dog food that had tomato juice on it
When she got nervous she’d poop
She always got really excited when we’d say she was going for a ride but as soon as she got in the car she hated it.
She wouldn’t stick her head out the window.
She would run on the hardwood then try and take a sharp turn and just slide and run into the wall.
She tried to run through a glass door
She was afraid of the bird
She was afraid of smaller dogs
She thought she was a lap dog
She’d always opt to sit on top of your feet
When she was a puppy she ran head first into a wall and laid there like she was dead so we took her to the doggy hospital and she was totally fine
One time I was chasing her and I did one of those moves where I turn around and get her the other direction but she was moving to fast on the tile and slid into me with her 100lb body and took my legs out, I got a concussion.
The first week we got Brie I took her out to go to the bathroom and I slipped on ice and split my lip open and she licked my finger while I cried in the driveway.
When she was a puppy she was allergic to dog food so we got her hypoallergenic dog food and then she was allergic to the rice.
For Halloween she was a bumblebee.
The next she was a hot dog.
She was terrified of grapes.
When I was 7 I hated her because she chewed the arms off my bratz dolls.
For 2 weeks I cried because I thought my grandma loved Brie more than me.
I’m still not sure about that last one.
Her favorite meal was chicken mcnuggets.
You could infinitely pull out the hair on her paws.
Her ears and nose were the softest.
An older lady once thought she was a bear.
I used to put white tshirts on her in the summer to try and help keep her cool when we went on walks.
A man yelled at me and said I was making it worse.
One winter we got tired of wiping her feet off whenever she came inside so we got her little dog booties that we’d just take off when she came in.
Every time we put them on she refused to move.
For a long time she didn’t know how to run.
Brie actually loved wearing clothes.
She was afraid of water.
So I’m unsure if she didn’t know how to swim or was just too scared to.
She was really really fat.
She looked like a manatee.
She really hated gloves and made it her life’s work to destroy them every winter even if it meant ripping them off your hands and sometimes snagging a finger or two as well.
I don’t think she ever met a cat.
Sometimes she would snore or just make a noise like merrrrrr.
She went to a dog festival once and passed out because she got overwhelmed.
She got invited to be in a pure bred Bernese mountain dog club and went to one meeting and passed out again.
Whenever she would pant and her breathe would smell really bad if blow on her mouth and she’d stop panting.
When she was a puppy and would nip we would say ouch and she would stop. She used to have a cage she would nap in as a puppy and as she grew a little bigger she would somehow climb on top of the cage and sleep there.
She ate a whole pizza once.

I remember when we lived on mar del and when I’d take Brie for walks random strangers would yell out their windows, “hey Brie!” But didn’t have a clue who I was or my name. I was referred to as bries owner or the people that have the really pretty dog on the corner. It’s no exaggeration to say she was loved by everyone. And I loved everything about her even as strange as she was, she was perfect.

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